The unemployed need not apply

So disheartening how people treat other (unemployed-not-by-choice) people:
The unemployed need not apply

I would have to agree to and sympathize with some of the comments here:
Voices of the Unemployed

Companies, recruiters, head hunters... come on people. Not all of unemployed people are unemployed by their own choice and not all of them are just sitting at home doing nothing.
Just give a chance to those who knock on your door to show you what they can do.

Even (weer) mijn hart kwijt...

Maybe he did not mean it that way but what I heard from his remark was that companies would prefer to hire people that would really like to work and not people who just sit at home.
So upsetting.
I told him back that I would really like to work but how can I if I never get the chance?
I know I have a gap in my CV.
That does not mean I do not want to work.
That does not mean I like sitting at home doing nothing.
That does not mean I just lazy around.
He just does not know what I have done and been through.
The remark is so unfair.
I applied to many law firms either as a paid worker or as an intern (I don't mind not being paid as long as I get the experience) and those who replied basically said there was no place for me either because I did not speak the language or because I did not have a background in Dutch law.
I can not work as a doctor because my diploma is considered not in par with the Dutch diploma.
I applied to AH, they hinted that my Dutch was not good enough to sit behind the cashier desk.
I applied to Xenos, they hinted that I was too old to be working amongst young people.
I applied to McD clearly telling them the days I could work and they still asked me for the days that I could not work.
I applied to Action and never heard from them again after the interview.
I applied to ARTI and they said that my Dutch might not meet the requirement for the study.

The facts are:
I have passed the NT2 Programma II exams.
The Expertise Centrum says:
Wilt u studeren of werken in Nederland en uw kansen op de arbeidsmarkt vergroten?
Kijk dan snel welk programma het beste bij u past:
- Staatsexamen NT2 Programma I voor opleiding of werk op mbo-niveau
- Staatsexamen NT2 Programma II voor opleiding of werk op hbo of universitair niveau

The IB Group says:U kiest voor examenprogramma II als u bijvoorbeeld een midden- of hogere kaderfunctie wilt gaan vervullen of daarvoor een opleiding wilt gaan volgen. U kunt hierbij denken aan een studie in het hoger beroepsonderwijs of aan een universiteit.

This is so far just a lie.
I passed the Programma II but people still consider my Dutch is not good enough and I still can not find a (decent) job.
Passing the exams does not change the other facts - the fact that I'm not a Dutch and therefore "will never speak as a true native", the fact that many would rather employ younger people because they receive less salary.

I find the remark so unfair because it is not true.
I want to work. I have tried everything I know to make this work and now they just label me as a lazy immigrant. An immigrant who does not want to work but just wants to benefit from living here. Which, in my case, is not true.

I have brain that a lot of other people don't - I studied medicine and law at the same time. True, it was in Indonesia and not in the USA or Europe but it still a proof that I have brain.
I studied in Universiteit Utrecht. If they say I don't have brain then they just as well say that Universiteit Utrecht is of no quality.
I do not come from a poor family - my study in Utrecht was paid by my family. I do not need a 'bule' to be my sugar daddy. My family has more 'sugar' than my boyfriend.
My boyfriend never had to pay for my vacations with him (except for one surprise vacation).
I never had to deal with the possibilities of having second hand furnitures or electronics in Indonesia while here it is a common practice - marktplaats, kringloop, second-hand shops.

And they say immigrants bring problems.
Have they ever scrutinised themselves? Have they given the good immigrants fair chance before labelling them?
Who tried to kill the royal family in Apeldoorn in 2009? A Dutch man from Gelderse Huissen.
Who killed some people in Alphen a/d Rijn in 2011? A Dutch.
Who were thought to be involved in a shooting in Breda in 2011? 2 Dutch and 2 English men.
Who harbour criminals from Suriname? The Netherlands. I'm not making this up. There was a tv program about this.
Who made a film insulting the moslem? A dutch.
So, where or who is the problem here?

Even mijn hart kwijt... - Is being shy bad?

i need a hug
i need a comforting hug
i was told that i was too shy
that i could have asked more
that i could have said more

i don't want to feel down
but this was a blow
to my confidence of what's left of it
after almost 3 years of struggle
i can't help it if i'm too shy
what can i do?

i can work very well
sometimes even better than some other people
i study hard
i learn fast
i am intelligent
2 bachelor degree's
3 master degree's

my only sin is just being shy
but is that so bad then?
i want to stay optimistic
but every day it becomes more and more difficult
when the things i hope for
the things i have worked for
the things i work for
the things i have built
one by one is taken away from me
just because my shyness is seen as a disadvantage
as a weakness
as a sign of lack of initiative
maybe the reason i do not ask a questions
is because i already understand the answer
but people do not see that i am intelligent for understanding the answer
they do not try to find out the real reason i do not ask question
they just see the surface
that i do not talk a lot
and based on that they label me as having no enthusiasm or initiative

is being shy so bad then?
that shy people will not get a place in the world?
that nothing good will come to shy people's way?
that shy people do not deserve a chance?

i am an introvert
every now and then i wish i was not
but i am
and i do not want to apologize for that
i can not
because that is part of who i am
and deep down i know
i am a good person
i am intelligent
and i can do a lot of things many others can not
and i can do them better than many others can
i just have to see the light at the end of the tunnel
to find my way
to save my confidence
to believe in myself again
to happiness

Graphic Tablet 3

More of my drawings using the graphic tablet:

Carnaval 2011 in Maastricht

Graphic Tablet 2

Today I decided to have another go at using a graphic tablet.
I managed to make a few drawings in 1.5 hours. Very raw.

Graphic Tablet

A few weeks ago I borrowed a Medion graphic tablet from my friend.
Yesterday I had I chance to try it. The difficult parts were trying to keep an even pressure of the pen and keeping my hand steady.
So, here it is. My first drawing using a graphic tablet.

It may looks like a 5-years old child's drawing but I think I did pretty well for a first timer.
Encouraging.

Verliefd

I just got back from two amazing places: Rovaniemi and Reykjavik.

Rovaniemi was amazing in the winter. The temperature ranged from -16 to -30 centigrade when I was there. I had to wear a couple layers of clothes and even a balaclava to keep my nose from getting blocked. Almost everyday I had frozen water vapor on my eyelashes. Everything was white from the snow.
Amazing things I did in Rovaniemi: reindeer safari, husky safari, snowmobile safari and hiking in the snow to a look-out tower.
Every activity was worth the trouble. Every activity left me with a sense of serenity, magic, peace and space. And freedom.
Imagine seeing snow-covered trees from the top of a look-out point. Everything was white as far as your eyes could see.

A few photo's of Rovaniemi and the surroundings:

Iceland was also amazing. I knew I would love Reykjavik even before I set foot there and I was correct. I am charmed by Reykjavik. I am charmed by what I saw in Iceland.
Iceland is really a land of contradiction. I stayed in Reykjavik but had the good fortune of visiting places outside Reykjavik: the golden circle and Reykjanes peninsula.
The route to the golden circle took me to the snowy and cold part of Iceland via snow-covered mountains.
The route along Reykjanes peninsula took me through the rocky part of Iceland.
Just like Rovaniemi, my visit to these places left me with a sense of magic and peace. It also left me with a sense of awe. When I saw the mountains, the water from the cliffs... I could feel the power of nature and I felt so small. Something inside me said, here is the place I could and would love to live in. I could get in my car and just drive around Iceland, get lost in its impressive nature.

I fell in love with what I saw in Iceland.
I'm in love. And I would not mind moving there. Not at all.

Things I Miss

I just got back from a wonderful vacation and realized I am missing some things.
I miss the sense of space around me.
The sense of peace around me.
The sense of freedom.
The stillness.
I miss the snow.
The snow-covered trees and rooftops.
The frozen rivers and lakes.

The falling snow.
I miss my mother.
My dogs.
My friends.
I miss having dogs around me.
Having things to do.
Having friends around.
I miss the familiar things.

90% Off for Last Christmas Stuffs by V&D

I was surprised that V&D Leeuwarden still had Christmas stuffs on sale when I went there on 31 January 2011. Most other shops are already done with the Christmas stuffs and are selling Valentine's Day stuffs.
All Christmas stuffs were 90% off. Very cheap for the next Christmas. For example, a box consisting about 30 golden-coloured Christmas ball was now around 1.30 euro from the normal price of 12.95 euro. The downside, being very late (in late January), there were not so many stuffs on sale.

About a week ago I saw the same thing at V&D Alphen a/d Rijn. There were even less stuffs there - only one table.

Living Abroad Anniversary

21st January 2011.
Living Abroad has been online for 1 year.
I must say that blogging, especially if you are like me - always wanting everything to be perfect and detailed, is not an easy job.
I have 5 blogs, 4 of which have been online for a while and 1 I just started a few days ago for my personal journal. I have not not decided whether I would make this latest blog online.
Of the 4 that are online, 1 is actively updated, 2 are updated as often as I can and 1 is a bit neglected.
Sometimes I have no news to tell. Sometimes at the end of the day I'm just too tired to write a (detailed) entry. Other time I just don't have the time.
It is hard work but I will keep on posting whenever I can and whenever there is something to tell because it is fun and it is a good writing experience. And I just want to share a few things with others.

Rambling thoughts

Earlier this morning when I woke up and started my day, I was engulfed with feelings of sadness and loneliness.


I just had to cry while sending and receiving sms's from my mother.

I missed a familiar face.
I missed my mother's familiar face.
I missed Kara's comforting gestures.
Her wanting to be as close to me as possible by sleeping in front of or in the room where I sleep.
Her licking my hand or face to wake me up.
Her greeting me in the morning as though she is very happy and is never tired to see me.
I missed Panda's stubborn acts.
Her carefreeness,  no worries on her shoulders.
The wagging of her tail.
I just missed those familiar things.

I still am missing those things.


In the hope to take my mind off these things, I turned on the TV and watched a few episodes of Dog Whisperer.


I've thought of taking up another education but I just don't know which one to do.
Considering my passions, I feel that a study related to animals and/or travelling would be perfect for me.
After seeing Dog Whisperer and since I like animals, dogs in particular, why not consider something related to animals' wellbeing?
But I have my doubts.
I can help animals without having animals but would the clients then have faith in me?
How could I do something with animals if I did not have animals?
I could try.
Maybe I should just do it for the fun of it. For my own enjoyment without taking into account whether it would lead me to a job or not. But I just can not let the thought of doing something that would also help my future and not just for pure pleasure go. Not just yet.

A lot of other things have crossed my mind too in my times of feeling lost.
Some of these thoughts might be justified. Others might not.
I thought if I had a job, I would not have felt these things.
I thought that if I had a dog, I could go out and meet people. Even if I was shy by nature, the dog would help me break the ice. And if that does not work, at least I would be forced to go out of the house and to exercise by walking the dog and maybe, just maybe, I would feel less lonely.

This post may not make any sense to you, the reader. It does not mean to make any sense. It's just a post about my rambling thoughts.

Water overtakes the Netherlands

After the snow comes the water. 
Melting snow causes water to "overtake" the Netherlands.

Flood in Deventer (14 January 2011 at around 11:32):

Flood in Deventer (14 January 2011 at around 12:00):

Flood in Deventer, De Stentor (14 January 2011 at 13:00):

Flood in Nijmegen (13 January 2011):

 

Flood in Nijmegen, NOS (13 January 2011):

 

Flood in Nijmegen (11 January 2011 at around 14:30):

Hengelo (8 January 2011):

Sambeek (13 January 2011):

Boxmeer (10 January 2011):

Venlo (9 January 2011):

Maastricht (9 January 2011):

Roermond (9 January 2011):

Borgharen & Itteren being evacuated (9 January 2011):

Photo's:
Flood in Brabant

New Year's Eve & Fireworks

The sky was lit up brightly:

It looked like they were trying to burn a lot of fireworks:

The result:

A firework shooting up into the air:

December in the Netherlands: After-Christmas Sale

Christmas has passed and as soon as the normal working day came (that is on 27th December 2010), the shops started stripping their shops off Christmas stuffs to make place for new theme and started their Christmas-stuffs sale.

40% Off by Intratuin, Apeldoorn (27 December 2010):

Snowman figurine:

Candle holder:

50% off, VD, Den Bosch (30 December 2010):

Gamma, Apeldoorn (31 December 2010):

Kerststol: Traditional Christmas Bread in the Netherlands

A stol is a luxurious bread with raisins and almond paste in the dough.
Traditionally this bread is eaten around Christmas and Easter, hence the name kerststol or paasstol (kerst: Christmas; paas: Easter).

Very high in calorie. 

Traffic Chaos in Europe

Snow causes a lot of traffic chaos in Europe. Here are some news from Europe.

Utrecht:
Utrecht was not reachable because there was more snow than expected. The trains and buses did not run.
The information from the Netherlands' Train Provider:
Door winterse omstandigheden en een combinatie van materieel- en infrastoringen zijn we op dit moment ruimte aan het maken op Utrecht Centraal.
Er is momenteel geen treinverkeer mogelijk van en naar Utrecht Centraal. Verwachting is dat dit tot 14:00 uur zal duren. ProRail en NS zijn druk bezig om dit op te lossen. In de rest van het land rijden er treinen.

This is the link to the news:
Utrecht Unreachable

Problems at Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam:
Problems at Schiphol

News from Schiphol's website:
Door het winterse weer in Europa moeten passagiers rekening houden met annuleringen of vertragingen. Bekijk de actuele vluchtinformatie of raadpleeg de website van uw luchtvaartmaatschappij. Raadpleeg voordat u naar de luchthaven gaat de actuele status van uw vlucht. Indien uw vlucht is geannuleerd verzoeken wij u vriendelijk allereerst contact op te nemen met uw luchtvaartmaatschappij voordat u naar Schiphol komt. 

Problems at Heathrow Airport, London:
Heathrow Airport will not be accepting arrivals on Sunday, and will only manage a handful of departures as our airfield team continues to deal with the impacts of yesterday's bad weather and prepares the airport for a full re-opening on Monday.
....................................................................................
We are removing 30 tonnes of snow from each stand, but the temperature remains firmly below zero and Heathrow's capacity is limited to the extent that all parking stands are occupied by aircraft, making the job of clearing and treating them more difficult (www. heathrowairport.com).

BBC: Snow at Heathrow and Gatwick ruins plans of thousands

Problems at Brussels Airport (http://www.brusselsairport.be/en/):
Brussels Airport is currently operating normally. However, some flights may be delayed or cancelled due to snow at our and other airports.

Lufthansa is operating to special timetable on 18 & 19 Dec
Massive flight cancellations into and out of Frankfurt: German domestic flights and connections to European destinations are affected.

Problems at Frankfurt  Airport:

Flight delays and cancellations might occur at Frankfurt Airport due to wintry weather and reduced visibility.
Passengers are kindly requested to contact their airline and to check traffic reports, e.g. on the radio or on teletext.

Other news & video's:



Stranded Passengers at Schiphol
Traffic Problems in Europe
RTL Nieuws
Expected: Extreme Weather in Limburg

Your Own Space

Today I watched Dexter. It was the episode in which Dexter and Rita went to a counsellor because Rita felt like Dexter was keeping secrets from her by not telling her the truth about the fact that he had not sold his apartment.
In the end it all came down to the conclusion that Dexter needed his own space.
We all need our own space.
I'm not an exception.
But how do you get your own space if there is already no space in your house?

To Move or Not To Move

Recently my boyfriend told me that he told his mother that he felt better in a cold place (well... colder than the Netherlands anyway). He then told me that his mother asked him why he did not just move to somewhere colder.

To move or not to move.

Frankly, I have been mulling about this idea too. To move somewhere else. It does not have to be another country. Moving to another city already works for me.  Mainly for the reason of finding a job for me. There are not so many opportunity (read: No real opportunity) for me to work here in the town I live. I honestly think that if I move to a more international city my chances of finding a job is bigger.

For example, when I was in Amsterdam showing my friend's parents-in-law around, I came across a souvenir shop shopkeeper who did not speak a word of Dutch. Thus, that is already one less hurdle for me who does not speak perfect Dutch. Don't get me wrong. My understanding of Dutch is pretty good that I'm sure I could work here (read: my town) at a supermarket or in a shop as a shopkeeper. But the decision (on whom to hire or not) makers usually do not think so.

I once applied for a job at a supermarket here and in a nutshell they hinted to me that for that position I needed to be more fluent in Dutch. I shop at the same supermarket and for as long as I can remember, the people who work in that poisition are always busy that they do not have time to chit chat with clients. They do not even have time to chit chat with each other. They work as cashiers, for God's sake. All they need to do is greet the clients, scan the stuffs and say the total price. How perfect should my Dutch be then? I passed the NT2 Programma II!!!

For some other jobs I am just too old. Or so they hinted here. For those who do not know the relevance of one's age in scoring a job in a shop here, the older you get, the more your employer has to pay you. So, of course they will employ younger people.

Ok, so it might not be easy to find a job in another city either. But I honestly feel and think there is more opportunities for me. I could always be a freelance tour guide in Amsterdam or Utrecht while here I can't because there are just not many tourists coming here. Even other sort of freelance works would be more abundant there in those cities.

Another reason is that I am hoping by moving to one of those cities, I can and will find more friends. Of course there is no guarantee. But I know in Den Haag, Amsterdam and Utrecht there would be more Indonesian people working or studying there.

Let's get back to the main topic. To move or not to move.

It's a dillemma. Moving would be in a way a fair move. Then we (my boyfriend and I) will both start at the same position. I will not be the only one who has to adjust but he too. He will also see and feel that starting new in a different city is not easy. He will also see and feel what I see and feel. He will be going through what I am going through every day.

On the down side, he will have to find a new job while I still do not have a real job. Not exactly a brilliant move if we want to settle down. How are we going to provide for ourselves? Not to mention when there would be children involved? Here at least he has a decent job.

In response to that, I can not say for sure but I think it would not be too difficult for him to find another job. One, he is a native Dutch. So, moving to another city in the Netherlands would not bring up the language issue for him. Two, he works in the IT. That is a field where there is always something to do. Jobs in that field keeps popping up. If all else fails, he can always open his own IT consultancy bureau. Three, he's an EU citizen. So, moving to another EU country would not bring up the job permit issue for him.

Once he said that if I could get a good (read: high paying) job in another city then he did not mind moving there with me. That was rather unfair. The chance of my scoring a good job is much less than the chance of him scoring another (good) job. One, I'm not an EU citizen. Need I say more? Two, I'm not Dutch so my Dutch would never be that of a native. Three, my diploma's are worthless here. I can't work as a lawyer or notary or doctor.

I can honestly say that for me, moving is not a problem. I do not mind to move, either to another (better) city or country. I do not mind to start new as long as I can get somewhere after starting and not just walking on the same spot (or even going backwards).

As for my boyfriend... I am not so sure that, albeit all his complaints, he would want to move. Not even to another city. I think he already feels so secure here.

I'm in a bind....

Let it snow...

Video's taken on 4th December 2010: