To Move or Not To Move

Recently my boyfriend told me that he told his mother that he felt better in a cold place (well... colder than the Netherlands anyway). He then told me that his mother asked him why he did not just move to somewhere colder.

To move or not to move.

Frankly, I have been mulling about this idea too. To move somewhere else. It does not have to be another country. Moving to another city already works for me.  Mainly for the reason of finding a job for me. There are not so many opportunity (read: No real opportunity) for me to work here in the town I live. I honestly think that if I move to a more international city my chances of finding a job is bigger.

For example, when I was in Amsterdam showing my friend's parents-in-law around, I came across a souvenir shop shopkeeper who did not speak a word of Dutch. Thus, that is already one less hurdle for me who does not speak perfect Dutch. Don't get me wrong. My understanding of Dutch is pretty good that I'm sure I could work here (read: my town) at a supermarket or in a shop as a shopkeeper. But the decision (on whom to hire or not) makers usually do not think so.

I once applied for a job at a supermarket here and in a nutshell they hinted to me that for that position I needed to be more fluent in Dutch. I shop at the same supermarket and for as long as I can remember, the people who work in that poisition are always busy that they do not have time to chit chat with clients. They do not even have time to chit chat with each other. They work as cashiers, for God's sake. All they need to do is greet the clients, scan the stuffs and say the total price. How perfect should my Dutch be then? I passed the NT2 Programma II!!!

For some other jobs I am just too old. Or so they hinted here. For those who do not know the relevance of one's age in scoring a job in a shop here, the older you get, the more your employer has to pay you. So, of course they will employ younger people.

Ok, so it might not be easy to find a job in another city either. But I honestly feel and think there is more opportunities for me. I could always be a freelance tour guide in Amsterdam or Utrecht while here I can't because there are just not many tourists coming here. Even other sort of freelance works would be more abundant there in those cities.

Another reason is that I am hoping by moving to one of those cities, I can and will find more friends. Of course there is no guarantee. But I know in Den Haag, Amsterdam and Utrecht there would be more Indonesian people working or studying there.

Let's get back to the main topic. To move or not to move.

It's a dillemma. Moving would be in a way a fair move. Then we (my boyfriend and I) will both start at the same position. I will not be the only one who has to adjust but he too. He will also see and feel that starting new in a different city is not easy. He will also see and feel what I see and feel. He will be going through what I am going through every day.

On the down side, he will have to find a new job while I still do not have a real job. Not exactly a brilliant move if we want to settle down. How are we going to provide for ourselves? Not to mention when there would be children involved? Here at least he has a decent job.

In response to that, I can not say for sure but I think it would not be too difficult for him to find another job. One, he is a native Dutch. So, moving to another city in the Netherlands would not bring up the language issue for him. Two, he works in the IT. That is a field where there is always something to do. Jobs in that field keeps popping up. If all else fails, he can always open his own IT consultancy bureau. Three, he's an EU citizen. So, moving to another EU country would not bring up the job permit issue for him.

Once he said that if I could get a good (read: high paying) job in another city then he did not mind moving there with me. That was rather unfair. The chance of my scoring a good job is much less than the chance of him scoring another (good) job. One, I'm not an EU citizen. Need I say more? Two, I'm not Dutch so my Dutch would never be that of a native. Three, my diploma's are worthless here. I can't work as a lawyer or notary or doctor.

I can honestly say that for me, moving is not a problem. I do not mind to move, either to another (better) city or country. I do not mind to start new as long as I can get somewhere after starting and not just walking on the same spot (or even going backwards).

As for my boyfriend... I am not so sure that, albeit all his complaints, he would want to move. Not even to another city. I think he already feels so secure here.

I'm in a bind....