Rambling thoughts

Earlier this morning when I woke up and started my day, I was engulfed with feelings of sadness and loneliness.


I just had to cry while sending and receiving sms's from my mother.

I missed a familiar face.
I missed my mother's familiar face.
I missed Kara's comforting gestures.
Her wanting to be as close to me as possible by sleeping in front of or in the room where I sleep.
Her licking my hand or face to wake me up.
Her greeting me in the morning as though she is very happy and is never tired to see me.
I missed Panda's stubborn acts.
Her carefreeness,  no worries on her shoulders.
The wagging of her tail.
I just missed those familiar things.

I still am missing those things.


In the hope to take my mind off these things, I turned on the TV and watched a few episodes of Dog Whisperer.


I've thought of taking up another education but I just don't know which one to do.
Considering my passions, I feel that a study related to animals and/or travelling would be perfect for me.
After seeing Dog Whisperer and since I like animals, dogs in particular, why not consider something related to animals' wellbeing?
But I have my doubts.
I can help animals without having animals but would the clients then have faith in me?
How could I do something with animals if I did not have animals?
I could try.
Maybe I should just do it for the fun of it. For my own enjoyment without taking into account whether it would lead me to a job or not. But I just can not let the thought of doing something that would also help my future and not just for pure pleasure go. Not just yet.

A lot of other things have crossed my mind too in my times of feeling lost.
Some of these thoughts might be justified. Others might not.
I thought if I had a job, I would not have felt these things.
I thought that if I had a dog, I could go out and meet people. Even if I was shy by nature, the dog would help me break the ice. And if that does not work, at least I would be forced to go out of the house and to exercise by walking the dog and maybe, just maybe, I would feel less lonely.

This post may not make any sense to you, the reader. It does not mean to make any sense. It's just a post about my rambling thoughts.