The unemployed need not apply

So disheartening how people treat other (unemployed-not-by-choice) people:
The unemployed need not apply

I would have to agree to and sympathize with some of the comments here:
Voices of the Unemployed

Companies, recruiters, head hunters... come on people. Not all of unemployed people are unemployed by their own choice and not all of them are just sitting at home doing nothing.
Just give a chance to those who knock on your door to show you what they can do.

Even (weer) mijn hart kwijt...

Maybe he did not mean it that way but what I heard from his remark was that companies would prefer to hire people that would really like to work and not people who just sit at home.
So upsetting.
I told him back that I would really like to work but how can I if I never get the chance?
I know I have a gap in my CV.
That does not mean I do not want to work.
That does not mean I like sitting at home doing nothing.
That does not mean I just lazy around.
He just does not know what I have done and been through.
The remark is so unfair.
I applied to many law firms either as a paid worker or as an intern (I don't mind not being paid as long as I get the experience) and those who replied basically said there was no place for me either because I did not speak the language or because I did not have a background in Dutch law.
I can not work as a doctor because my diploma is considered not in par with the Dutch diploma.
I applied to AH, they hinted that my Dutch was not good enough to sit behind the cashier desk.
I applied to Xenos, they hinted that I was too old to be working amongst young people.
I applied to McD clearly telling them the days I could work and they still asked me for the days that I could not work.
I applied to Action and never heard from them again after the interview.
I applied to ARTI and they said that my Dutch might not meet the requirement for the study.

The facts are:
I have passed the NT2 Programma II exams.
The Expertise Centrum says:
Wilt u studeren of werken in Nederland en uw kansen op de arbeidsmarkt vergroten?
Kijk dan snel welk programma het beste bij u past:
- Staatsexamen NT2 Programma I voor opleiding of werk op mbo-niveau
- Staatsexamen NT2 Programma II voor opleiding of werk op hbo of universitair niveau

The IB Group says:U kiest voor examenprogramma II als u bijvoorbeeld een midden- of hogere kaderfunctie wilt gaan vervullen of daarvoor een opleiding wilt gaan volgen. U kunt hierbij denken aan een studie in het hoger beroepsonderwijs of aan een universiteit.

This is so far just a lie.
I passed the Programma II but people still consider my Dutch is not good enough and I still can not find a (decent) job.
Passing the exams does not change the other facts - the fact that I'm not a Dutch and therefore "will never speak as a true native", the fact that many would rather employ younger people because they receive less salary.

I find the remark so unfair because it is not true.
I want to work. I have tried everything I know to make this work and now they just label me as a lazy immigrant. An immigrant who does not want to work but just wants to benefit from living here. Which, in my case, is not true.

I have brain that a lot of other people don't - I studied medicine and law at the same time. True, it was in Indonesia and not in the USA or Europe but it still a proof that I have brain.
I studied in Universiteit Utrecht. If they say I don't have brain then they just as well say that Universiteit Utrecht is of no quality.
I do not come from a poor family - my study in Utrecht was paid by my family. I do not need a 'bule' to be my sugar daddy. My family has more 'sugar' than my boyfriend.
My boyfriend never had to pay for my vacations with him (except for one surprise vacation).
I never had to deal with the possibilities of having second hand furnitures or electronics in Indonesia while here it is a common practice - marktplaats, kringloop, second-hand shops.

And they say immigrants bring problems.
Have they ever scrutinised themselves? Have they given the good immigrants fair chance before labelling them?
Who tried to kill the royal family in Apeldoorn in 2009? A Dutch man from Gelderse Huissen.
Who killed some people in Alphen a/d Rijn in 2011? A Dutch.
Who were thought to be involved in a shooting in Breda in 2011? 2 Dutch and 2 English men.
Who harbour criminals from Suriname? The Netherlands. I'm not making this up. There was a tv program about this.
Who made a film insulting the moslem? A dutch.
So, where or who is the problem here?

Even mijn hart kwijt... - Is being shy bad?

i need a hug
i need a comforting hug
i was told that i was too shy
that i could have asked more
that i could have said more

i don't want to feel down
but this was a blow
to my confidence of what's left of it
after almost 3 years of struggle
i can't help it if i'm too shy
what can i do?

i can work very well
sometimes even better than some other people
i study hard
i learn fast
i am intelligent
2 bachelor degree's
3 master degree's

my only sin is just being shy
but is that so bad then?
i want to stay optimistic
but every day it becomes more and more difficult
when the things i hope for
the things i have worked for
the things i work for
the things i have built
one by one is taken away from me
just because my shyness is seen as a disadvantage
as a weakness
as a sign of lack of initiative
maybe the reason i do not ask a questions
is because i already understand the answer
but people do not see that i am intelligent for understanding the answer
they do not try to find out the real reason i do not ask question
they just see the surface
that i do not talk a lot
and based on that they label me as having no enthusiasm or initiative

is being shy so bad then?
that shy people will not get a place in the world?
that nothing good will come to shy people's way?
that shy people do not deserve a chance?

i am an introvert
every now and then i wish i was not
but i am
and i do not want to apologize for that
i can not
because that is part of who i am
and deep down i know
i am a good person
i am intelligent
and i can do a lot of things many others can not
and i can do them better than many others can
i just have to see the light at the end of the tunnel
to find my way
to save my confidence
to believe in myself again
to happiness

Graphic Tablet 3

More of my drawings using the graphic tablet:

Carnaval 2011 in Maastricht

Graphic Tablet 2

Today I decided to have another go at using a graphic tablet.
I managed to make a few drawings in 1.5 hours. Very raw.

Graphic Tablet

A few weeks ago I borrowed a Medion graphic tablet from my friend.
Yesterday I had I chance to try it. The difficult parts were trying to keep an even pressure of the pen and keeping my hand steady.
So, here it is. My first drawing using a graphic tablet.

It may looks like a 5-years old child's drawing but I think I did pretty well for a first timer.
Encouraging.

Verliefd

I just got back from two amazing places: Rovaniemi and Reykjavik.

Rovaniemi was amazing in the winter. The temperature ranged from -16 to -30 centigrade when I was there. I had to wear a couple layers of clothes and even a balaclava to keep my nose from getting blocked. Almost everyday I had frozen water vapor on my eyelashes. Everything was white from the snow.
Amazing things I did in Rovaniemi: reindeer safari, husky safari, snowmobile safari and hiking in the snow to a look-out tower.
Every activity was worth the trouble. Every activity left me with a sense of serenity, magic, peace and space. And freedom.
Imagine seeing snow-covered trees from the top of a look-out point. Everything was white as far as your eyes could see.

A few photo's of Rovaniemi and the surroundings:

Iceland was also amazing. I knew I would love Reykjavik even before I set foot there and I was correct. I am charmed by Reykjavik. I am charmed by what I saw in Iceland.
Iceland is really a land of contradiction. I stayed in Reykjavik but had the good fortune of visiting places outside Reykjavik: the golden circle and Reykjanes peninsula.
The route to the golden circle took me to the snowy and cold part of Iceland via snow-covered mountains.
The route along Reykjanes peninsula took me through the rocky part of Iceland.
Just like Rovaniemi, my visit to these places left me with a sense of magic and peace. It also left me with a sense of awe. When I saw the mountains, the water from the cliffs... I could feel the power of nature and I felt so small. Something inside me said, here is the place I could and would love to live in. I could get in my car and just drive around Iceland, get lost in its impressive nature.

I fell in love with what I saw in Iceland.
I'm in love. And I would not mind moving there. Not at all.

Things I Miss

I just got back from a wonderful vacation and realized I am missing some things.
I miss the sense of space around me.
The sense of peace around me.
The sense of freedom.
The stillness.
I miss the snow.
The snow-covered trees and rooftops.
The frozen rivers and lakes.

The falling snow.
I miss my mother.
My dogs.
My friends.
I miss having dogs around me.
Having things to do.
Having friends around.
I miss the familiar things.

90% Off for Last Christmas Stuffs by V&D

I was surprised that V&D Leeuwarden still had Christmas stuffs on sale when I went there on 31 January 2011. Most other shops are already done with the Christmas stuffs and are selling Valentine's Day stuffs.
All Christmas stuffs were 90% off. Very cheap for the next Christmas. For example, a box consisting about 30 golden-coloured Christmas ball was now around 1.30 euro from the normal price of 12.95 euro. The downside, being very late (in late January), there were not so many stuffs on sale.

About a week ago I saw the same thing at V&D Alphen a/d Rijn. There were even less stuffs there - only one table.